Believe it or not, I started a writing a post for last night; but, upon reflection, I was writing from an unhappy place and chose to not put all that negativity out there once I got home.
It has been a rough couple of days and sleepless nights. It has been reinforced to me lately, that my body is no longer my own--my lower ribs in particular are protesting the gradual invasion from my darling intruder down below. And while I really do like my job, these long shifts are taking more and more of a toll on me the farther along I get. I find myself eagerly counting down the days until I can go on maternity leave and (hopefully) get a few days of rest before facing the sleepless nights of "new mommy-hood."
On a lighter note, I've been making good progress on my "Getting Ready" checklist. I finished knitting her blessing blanket yesterday. I'm so happy with how it turned out! It does need a little blocking on the sides, to stop the edges from curling under, but that's no big deal. And I started working on a little hat that (once again: hopefully) will fit her and that she can wear home from the hospital.
Patrick is nearly done painting the nursery--there's just that few inches near the ceiling that remain to be covered up. I'm really excited to see how it's all coming together--it's gonna be so cute! And once the walls are done, I can finally start arranging the furniture (or, y'know, supervise as Patrick moves it around) and decorating with all the fabric projects I've been working on in the meantime.
Plus, last night, my sweet in-laws sent up a special surprise that totally made my night: a bassinet that's been in their family for over 120 years! The best descriptive word I can think of for it is charming. It's all hand-turned spindles and sturdy, pioneer-esque workmanship. (Plus, it's low enough that I will have absolutely no problem bending over the rails to get the baby in or out!)
It was so fun to listen to Patrick list all the family members who've spent their first nights in this little piece of history. He showed me the small nicks and repairs that furniture that old is bound to accrue, and all the stories behind them. And as I watched him set it up, and the excitement in his face and voice at the prospect of rocking his child to sleep in the same way he was soothed as a baby, my heart melted a little. I feel so glad that this sweet little girl of ours will come into the world surrounded by a family full of love, and memories of generations past--even if she'll be too young to remember it for herself for a while--I believe it's the kind of thing that leaves an impression on the soul.
So I'm doing my best to hang on to these feelings and this excitement, rather than dwell on the aches, pains, inconveniences, and anxieties that seem like they have no end in sight. I'm going to trust that the end to this process will come--probably sooner than I think--and I'll be so in alt over "my prize" that the rest will just...fade away...or at least become less noticeable.
And in the meantime, I'll celebrate the small successes. Like the fact that I actually slept through the night last night! (I don't know if my body was just so worn out from a particularly strenuous evening, that it just couldn't cope with prospect of tossing and turning and getting up to pee; or if the new sleep position I decided to try worked like a magic pill; or if taking a long soak in as hot a bath as I could handle right before going to sleep did the trick; or if it was a combination of all these things--but the results were glorious. I hope I can replicate it again tonight--minus the fact that I forgot to set my alarm and it was only my bladder that rescued me from being crazy-late for work. Today I was only "moderately" late. Ah well, you can't have everything I suppose.)
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