A Lesson in Endurance

Today got off to a bit of bumpy start. (Although, technically all my days have "bumpy" starts lately...get it? Cause I'm pregnant? *Sigh* I've now starting telling stupid jokes. Isn't that some kind of parenting milestone?)

Seriously though. I spent most of my slow work day yesterday going over our budget and updating information and stuff. Not my favorite, but I feel better once it's done. And happily, despite a day of financial drudgery, I met my goal of getting dinner cooked, dishes done (at least the first batch--don't judge), and a load of laundry in the dryer before 10 last night.

This morning was also slow at work. So I decided to "put on my big girl pants" and spent it on the phone talking to creditors and paying bills. Also not my favorite. One of the ladies I talked to was particularly unhelpful and kept reading from her script rather than pay attention to my responses...I may or may not have made a snarky comment about purple cows just to interrupt her flow...childish, yet satisfying.

At any rate, while I feel good about facing the situation head-on and taking what steps I can to get us back on track financially, I also felt emotionally drained afterward. The part of me that gets scared about trying to raise a child while digging out of debt just wanted to curl up into a catatonic little ball--but I think that would scare my coworkers and patients. Instead, I called Patrick and he gave me a quick pep talk and we caught each other up to speed with what we were responsible for money wise this week.

That helped a bit--though I would have preferred to be given a hug and small back rub in person--but I always appreciate how he keeps calm and offers the "big picture" perspective during these kind of stressful discussions. I need that to balance me out, particularly since I get so emotional so easily lately.

Afterward, I continued trying to dispel the "doom and gloom" cloud that felt like it was hovering overhead; so I pulled up the Ensign on my kindle, hoping that I would find something to help. And--almost to my surprise--I did.

I read over some messages that felt like they were put there just for me, to encourage and uplift me during a time of stressful change and the anxiety that goes hand-in-hand with it. I felt a sense of peace. I know we are not where we need to be right now; but because of our combined efforts as husband and wife, I know we are heading in the right direction. I also know that my biggest challenge will be to focus on the progress we make, rather than the length of the process. Yet, in this moment, I feel prepared to accept that challenge and to make the most of each situation as it comes.

So, in the end, while it doesn't feel like today has been cheerful or easy the way I hoped it would be when I woke--it has been cathartic and productive. I made it through when I thought I couldn't. And I'm okay with that.

(P.S. It also helps that today ended on a much lighter note than it started. I was given coupons at work for two free ice creams at Farr's so we have a mini-date to look forward to when Patch gets off work tonight! Ice cream makes everything better...)