Making The Most Of It

It suddenly dawned on me last night that I don't have very much maternity leave left.

So today, instead of staying at home and attempting to impose order on my home in between caring for Lucy, I decided to the let the chaos reign for another day while we went out to enjoy the summer weather.

Patrick was scheduled for a twelve hour shift, so I packed Lucy's things up for the day and we headed to my sister's house. She had invited us to tag along on her cousin's play date at the park. So we spent the better part of the day lounging in the shade (provided by our cousin Sarah--sooo happy she had that awning!) and watching all the kids (except mine of course--she just napped in my arms) run around the splash pad. (It made me long for the days when I could run around in a swimsuit all day without being self conscious...It also made me wish that we had had parks with splash pads when I was a kid...)

It was a little strange at first to realize that I have officially joined the ranks of mothers that lined the perimeter of the playground. I don't know why, but it's little things like trying to strategically park the stroller and making sure that I have a burp rag close to hand that shock my system and make me think, Holy Cow. It's happening. I'm actually doing MOM stuff. 

I've babysat and cared for kids before. But there was always that knowledge in the back of my mind that I could pass the kid back to its parent if I needed to--or that I only had to hold out a little longer before I could go home and relax--no such thing now. It kind of freaks me out a little how much I already view Lucy as an extension of myself...I have an itch to know where she is and what she's doing at all times.

So I'm going to have to use these last few days to make the most of it and (metaphorically) scratch that itch...because all too soon I'll have to adjust to being away from her for most of the day, and I can't predict how I'll handle that.

I just hope that those kind souls who have agreed to help watch her while I'm at work will indulge my neurotic requests for updates via text at least once an hour...maybe two...or maybe every thirty minutes. We'll just have to play it by ear and see...(And we'll have to keep our fingers crossed that I'll get used to the separation enough to be weaned off my need for constant information about her welfare. Although, it doesn't seem likely at this point in time.)