Friday, August 1, 2014

One day at a time...

I recently came across a quote that I really like and wanted to apply to my life. (I apologize in advance: I can't remember who or where it's from, but you can visit our ol' pal Google if you're just burning to find out.)

"It's only possible to live happily ever after one day at a time."

I feel like I've been putting a lot of things on my "to do" list lately beyond the usual daily stuff, and stressing about my self-imposed deadlines. I really want to deep clean my house, fix the travesty that is my yard weed patch, make more time for learning-focused play with Lucy, and so on, and so forth... you get the idea.

Anyhow, I came across the above quote during some down time at work about a week ago or so, and I decided to scale back my ambitions to one day at a time. I have to say, I feel so much better. I may not be making the leaps and bounds of progress I originally envisioned (do any of us, ever?), but I am progressing more than I thought I'd be able to at this pace.

The house is not spotless. But I went to work in my bedroom: purging junk, rearranging furniture, cleaning the way my mom used to make us do before the annual Christmas party (aka: white glove test clean); and now I have a haven of peace in the midst of the swirling vortex of chaos. I can retreat when it gets to be too much, and I am able to recharge enough to attempt to tame the madness once again.

My yard is not a place you'd want to spend time in. But thanks to the generous spirit of one of my coworkers, it's graduated from "condemned" to "shambles." After graciously listening to me complain about "the badlands" (as I've taken to referring to the backyard), she didn't say, "Oh, that's too bad. I'm sure that's frustrating! Good luck!" as I expected her to. She said, "I've got a shovel and a truck. Want some help?" I was actually stunned speechless--and further amazed when she came by the next day to get started! Her can-do attitude totally motivated me; and with her help we were able to rip out an overgrown flower weed bed and take down an inconvenient tree in the space of two hours. (That's more progress that I've made on my own in almost two years!)

My daughter has not blossomed into a child prodigy under my careful tutelage. But she is happy, healthy, well-fed and cared for. I may not have a lot of extra time to spend just reading or going on nature walks with her, but I'm trying to make more space for her in my own daily routine. Rather than just popping her in her bouncer in front of the TV for an hour or so while I quickly clean/fix dinner, I've been trying to let her get involved with what I'm doing, instead of just shutting her out. She likes to hand me clothing one piece at a time when I fold laundry. She'll happily sit on the floor and chew on her tooth brush when I tidy the bathroom. And we've had a modicum of success with moving her high chair into the kitchen and giving her a snack, or some wooden spoons to play with while I cook and do the dishes. (She'd still rather investigate the glassware cabinet most of the time...but the days it works I feel like the greatest mom ever, reigning over a scene of domestic bliss!) Sure, everything takes me about four times longer than it should...and lots of times I end up having to redo tasks once she's napping...but all in all, I feel like a better parent after readjusting my attitude to work with her rather than around  her. And, as I mentioned before, some days I do better than others...but if I'm not patient enough one day, I can try again the next.

At any rate, this has been the stuff of my life since my last post. (With one gloriously decadent exception on Patrick's birthday, when we got a sitter and ran away to do all grown-up things for the day: like golf and eat sushi!) It's not very glamorous or unique, but it is my version of "happily ever after." One day at a time. :-)

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