Malaise

Today was not my favorite.

We got some disheartening news this morning and my mood never quite bounced back. I felt drained before the day really even started. I chose to sleep for most of the day with the baby instead of getting stuff done like I had planned.

To be honest, I'm surprised I was even able to summon the energy to write as much as I have...but now I hear the baby screaming and it's time to muster up the reserves of energy to go be a parent...

I hope tomorrow will be better and that I'll be able to shake off this funk.

Making The Most Of It

It suddenly dawned on me last night that I don't have very much maternity leave left.

So today, instead of staying at home and attempting to impose order on my home in between caring for Lucy, I decided to the let the chaos reign for another day while we went out to enjoy the summer weather.

Patrick was scheduled for a twelve hour shift, so I packed Lucy's things up for the day and we headed to my sister's house. She had invited us to tag along on her cousin's play date at the park. So we spent the better part of the day lounging in the shade (provided by our cousin Sarah--sooo happy she had that awning!) and watching all the kids (except mine of course--she just napped in my arms) run around the splash pad. (It made me long for the days when I could run around in a swimsuit all day without being self conscious...It also made me wish that we had had parks with splash pads when I was a kid...)

It was a little strange at first to realize that I have officially joined the ranks of mothers that lined the perimeter of the playground. I don't know why, but it's little things like trying to strategically park the stroller and making sure that I have a burp rag close to hand that shock my system and make me think, Holy Cow. It's happening. I'm actually doing MOM stuff. 

I've babysat and cared for kids before. But there was always that knowledge in the back of my mind that I could pass the kid back to its parent if I needed to--or that I only had to hold out a little longer before I could go home and relax--no such thing now. It kind of freaks me out a little how much I already view Lucy as an extension of myself...I have an itch to know where she is and what she's doing at all times.

So I'm going to have to use these last few days to make the most of it and (metaphorically) scratch that itch...because all too soon I'll have to adjust to being away from her for most of the day, and I can't predict how I'll handle that.

I just hope that those kind souls who have agreed to help watch her while I'm at work will indulge my neurotic requests for updates via text at least once an hour...maybe two...or maybe every thirty minutes. We'll just have to play it by ear and see...(And we'll have to keep our fingers crossed that I'll get used to the separation enough to be weaned off my need for constant information about her welfare. Although, it doesn't seem likely at this point in time.)  

Happy Pioneer Day

Six years ago today, Patrick proposed.

We were sitting in his car on the shore by Bear Lake, watching my cousins play in the water while it started to rain (hence why we were sitting in the car). We were both feeling pretty sleep deprived because we had stayed up late watching movies, I think maybe until 1:00 or 2:00 am, only to wake up at 5:00 am so that we could be to the lake on time to rent equipment. As neither of us are really "morning people" I'm still surprised that we didn't end up in a fiery car crash or something on the way up...

Anyway, we were just sitting and chatting while listening to the patter of the rain on the roof of the car. There came a lull in the conversation and I almost started to drift off to sleep when Patrick popped the question. I didn't even have to think about my answer, it just rolled right off my tongue. (Of course about thirty seconds later my brain caught up with my mouth and was slightly shocked at how easily I had agreed to such a life changing decision.)

I was thinking about that moment today as I was about to nod off into another nap after another busy day of swimming and playing with cousins ...

I'm still sleep deprived. But now it's because of waking early to care for our sweet baby girl. We still stay up way too late watching movies sometimes. But it's because we want to spend as much time as possible together, even when we work long days. And I'm sometimes still surprised by how much my life has changed since I said "yes." If I went back and relived that moment, I know that I still wouldn't even hesitate to take that leap despite knowing some of the challenges and hardships that would lay ahead.

It may have been the quickest decision I ever made, but it was by far the best. So, Happy Pioneer Day, Patrick. There is no one I would rather "blaze new trails" with than you!

Daddy's Little Fan-Girl

Patrick had the day off today. That means some serious snuggling/hang out time for him and Lucy this afternoon. (We had a busy morning at the doctor's offices. It was mommy's six week check up, and I'm happy to report that all's well and I've healed nicely after all that pushing. Then we stopped by the main radiology office at my work to make sure everything is in order for me to go back next week. It'll be a bittersweet moment.) 

There is nothing he likes better right now than to plop down on the couch with her and put on some Sci-Fi show. She's going to grow up to be a connoisseur of all things nerdy...which will mean she'll fit right in with the rest of our crazy family!

As a matter of fact, he has already planted a love for all things "Whedon" in her. Here she is in a Firefly themed onesie. I just wish I had thought to get him in the picture too. (He was wearing one of his Firefly T-shirts as well. It would have been too perfect...)

He's also trying to instill a love for super hero movies. He wanted to see if she could pull of the whole Clark Kent look one night after her bath:

Sadly, she was not in the mood. Ah, well. Better luck next time Dad!

These Magic Moments

So much has happened during this past month and a half that I need to catch up on...it has officially reached "daunting" proportions. However, I figure the only way to go about this is to start typing. We'll just do this one letter at a time and hope that it doesn't turn into something huge and rambling...no promises though!

Part One:

A New Arrival

At 8:00 am on June 12, 2013, I was laying in a hospital bed quoting movie lines with my dad while Patrick and a nurse were coaching me through each push and my sister fed me ice chips. The doctor said we were getting close and that she bet the baby was around 7 pounds at most. 

At 8:05 am, Lucy Joy came into the world at a whopping 8 lbs 11 oz and 19 inches long. They placed her on my chest and she gave a single soft cry that sounded like "hey" and opened her eyes and stared at me. She was so soft and slippery that I was almost afraid to touch her, but one look into those shiny little eyes and I knew I was a goner...she already had me wrapped around her little finger. I wanted to protest when the nurses came to take her away to clean her up and weigh her, but then I caught sight of Patrick--hovering protectively with that wonder struck expression--and I knew he needed his moment to stare into those little eyes too. 

The nurses said that she must have had "two pounds in each cheek" when they weighed her!

Me as a brand new mom drifting off to sleep while snuggling my little girl for the first time. (And yes, I think my smile still looks slightly drugged.)

We both marveled at how much hair she had! I was certain that she was going to be bald as I was...I'm glad I was wrong. She's so adorable. Especially after a bath when she's rocking the hair do that I have dubbed "the fluffy duckling."

I don't recall much else from that day. I was worn out and heavily medicated. I remember Patch's parents coming in to see her, but then the meds took effect and I don't remember anyone else coming or going--even though I know they did. The next day was better. I was awake and able to visit with family as they all came by to say hello and have a turn holding our adorable little chunk. And the day after that, Lucy and I were given a clean bill of health and were free to go!

Our first days after coming home from the hospital were a blur of naps and semi-successful nursing sessions. (It took us both a while to get the hang of breastfeeding, but I'm glad we stuck with it, despite tears on both of our parts. I really enjoy having that time together with her...And I fully admit to loving this "eat as much as I want while still losing weight" thing. It's freaking awesome.) We didn't leave the house much. Heck, we pretty much didn't leave the bedroom unless we absolutely had to. And I'm so grateful to all of our wonderful family members who came up to help us during this time. Patrick and I couldn't have made it through that first week without you! 

Part Two:

A Month of Firsts

There is no way I could cover every detail of our first month as a family. So I've tried to include as many of the highlights as possible. 

Her First Photo Shoot:

This was a gift from my States sisters-in-law, and I'm so happy to have received it! The photographer did a marvelous job and I had a hard time narrowing down my five favorite pictures...

New Arrival!

My little Anne Geddes baby. This shot reminds me of my mom...it's totally her style.

Sweet little naked baby skin...so soft!

I made this quilt and teddy bear for her.

I think this one might be my most favorite...

Her First "Tubby Bath:"

She takes after me in the fact that she appreciates a good soak in warm water. This is now part of our nightly routine...a bath for her and a bath for me!

Our Firstborn Baby Blessing:

My sister made her beautiful outfit. She modeled the design of it after our favorite Jane Austen costumes. She also knit the sweet lacy little bonnet. (I had made matching mitts to go with the bonnet, but I didn't count on her getting so big, so fast! They definitely didn't fit, but it was okay anyway. I did knit a white lace blanket to keep her warm in our chilly chapel.)

We were so happy to share this moment surrounded by friends and family. And even though some of our family was too far away to attend, I know we were in their thoughts, and it was wonderful to feel the love stretching across the miles. 

I felt so blessed as I watched my little girl be surrounded and supported by such a large circle of worthy priesthood holders. It was a very humbling moment to visually realize how much the gospel is woven into the fabric of my life. Patrick gave a beautiful blessing that made us all get teary-eyed--he told Lucy what an influence her Mima Kim had been in our lives and blessed her that she might honor her memory and continue her legacy of "finding joy in the journey." 

Our First Family Trip:

We went to the Bar M Ranch on the Wyoming/Idaho Border with the all the States clan. It was so beautiful up there! The house was cozy yet spacious and the scenery was fabulous. There were so many fun activities to do; but even better than that were all the helping hands available to hold and snuggle and play with the baby--mom actually got to read a book while listening to a bubbling brook and birdsong outside her bedroom window!

The one on the left is Monty. (I hope it goes without saying which one is my husband!)

Us as a family. Lucy apparently was not in the mood to watch her cousins go for horse rides...

So true...do nerdy cowgirls count? Because it's not lost on me that I'm wearing a Green Lantern sweatshirt instead of something more...ranch-y.

Patrick practically lived on these four-wheelers while we were up there!

We had to get one more with a regular smiling face from Patrick...I swear, it's near impossible to get a picture of him with a "normal" face...

The front room in the "cabin."

Lucy and Daddy, going for a stroll...

The view from the front porch of the guest house.

  

Diary of a Strange Pregnant White Girl...

Day 267

All efforts have proven unsuccessful…despite multiple attempts to alter the situation, I am still pregnant.

Since getting the word from my OB that I am officially allowed to have the baby any day now: I have gone on a three mile hike, walked a mile or more every day for the past week, moved heavy pieces of furniture, deep cleaned, done sit-ups (which are really more like abdominal crunches because it turns out that it’s almost impossible to do sit-ups with the human equivalent of a bowling ball parked on the muscles I would normally use to perform said maneuver), started taking herbal supplements that are repudiated to “kick start” labor, all while working full-time…and still nothing!

This baby is a tease. I’ll get fairly consistent contractions during the evenings for about three hours, but once I stop moving and sit or lie down, all progress grinds to a halt and I am left once more to endure a sleepless night of leg and back cramps and bathroom trips. (I understand that I will still have sleepless nights after the baby comes, but at least it will be for reasons other than my own physical discomfort. And at this point, any change in my physical condition would be a welcome one…)

I am fed up and ready to be done.

My energy is sapped and frustrations are high at the end of each day—which is partly why I have had another long absence from the blogging arena—I have not yet mastered the ability to force myself to get out of bed (or off the couch) and go blog once I’ve sat down for the night. Now, I know I’m not the only one to ever struggle with this, but seriously?! When is this kid gonna get here?? I don’t see how it’s anatomically possible for me to get any bigger, but I’m afraid that’s what’s going to happen if I can’t find a way to convince this child that life is better on “the outside” soon.

A Lesson in Endurance

Today got off to a bit of bumpy start. (Although, technically all my days have "bumpy" starts lately...get it? Cause I'm pregnant? *Sigh* I've now starting telling stupid jokes. Isn't that some kind of parenting milestone?)

Seriously though. I spent most of my slow work day yesterday going over our budget and updating information and stuff. Not my favorite, but I feel better once it's done. And happily, despite a day of financial drudgery, I met my goal of getting dinner cooked, dishes done (at least the first batch--don't judge), and a load of laundry in the dryer before 10 last night.

This morning was also slow at work. So I decided to "put on my big girl pants" and spent it on the phone talking to creditors and paying bills. Also not my favorite. One of the ladies I talked to was particularly unhelpful and kept reading from her script rather than pay attention to my responses...I may or may not have made a snarky comment about purple cows just to interrupt her flow...childish, yet satisfying.

At any rate, while I feel good about facing the situation head-on and taking what steps I can to get us back on track financially, I also felt emotionally drained afterward. The part of me that gets scared about trying to raise a child while digging out of debt just wanted to curl up into a catatonic little ball--but I think that would scare my coworkers and patients. Instead, I called Patrick and he gave me a quick pep talk and we caught each other up to speed with what we were responsible for money wise this week.

That helped a bit--though I would have preferred to be given a hug and small back rub in person--but I always appreciate how he keeps calm and offers the "big picture" perspective during these kind of stressful discussions. I need that to balance me out, particularly since I get so emotional so easily lately.

Afterward, I continued trying to dispel the "doom and gloom" cloud that felt like it was hovering overhead; so I pulled up the Ensign on my kindle, hoping that I would find something to help. And--almost to my surprise--I did.

I read over some messages that felt like they were put there just for me, to encourage and uplift me during a time of stressful change and the anxiety that goes hand-in-hand with it. I felt a sense of peace. I know we are not where we need to be right now; but because of our combined efforts as husband and wife, I know we are heading in the right direction. I also know that my biggest challenge will be to focus on the progress we make, rather than the length of the process. Yet, in this moment, I feel prepared to accept that challenge and to make the most of each situation as it comes.

So, in the end, while it doesn't feel like today has been cheerful or easy the way I hoped it would be when I woke--it has been cathartic and productive. I made it through when I thought I couldn't. And I'm okay with that.

(P.S. It also helps that today ended on a much lighter note than it started. I was given coupons at work for two free ice creams at Farr's so we have a mini-date to look forward to when Patch gets off work tonight! Ice cream makes everything better...)

“Help! I’ve fallen down on blogging and I can’t get up!”

Hello to any reader who may have stumbled across this. If you’ve been waiting for me, I apologize. I honestly don’t know where the time went…but I didn’t intend to be absent this long. A thousand pardons. I hope the pictures in this post will absolve me (at least partly) of my guilt…

The truth is I’ve been busy. And when I wasn’t busy, I was exhausted. And when I was exhausted—I slept... or tried to, anyway. (I haven’t quite gotten the hang of multitasking on limited amounts of rest yet. So, I hope you’ll hang in there with me while I continue learning how this whole “mommy business” is gonna work. )

These past few weeks have been a flurry of crafting, working, cleaning, working, crafting, baby showers, working, mental breakdowns, and working.

I am happy to announce that we have finally assembled all the essential elements for the nursery! The walls are painted. The floor is vacuumed. The windows have been washed. The furniture is in place… It still looks a little Spartan because I have yet to put up curtains, or assemble bedding, or sort clothing and toys into their proper homes. But I freely admit that I was a bit overwhelmed by the realization of how much one little person can add to the laundry rotation, and I balked. Ahem. I mean, “took a step back to calm my nerves.”

Still, if we were suddenly faced with bringing baby home tomorrow, we could survive. I’m just hoping for a little more time to set up shop before that happens. (Not too much time, mind you. After all, I don’t want to be this big much longer…but a little more couldn’t hurt, right?)

I want to take a moment to send out a big karmic “Thank You!” to all the lovely ladies who came (or sent their love and support via another) to the Garden Tea Party/Baby Shower on the 4^th. You are amazing! Patrick and I don’t know what we would have done without you. Really. Because of you, we are now better prepared to clothe, feed, and nurture the little bundle of joy heading our way. You gave us the furniture she will use, the clothes and diapers she’ll wear, and the toys she’ll love and play with. She’ll come into the world surrounded by love. Thank you—from the bottom of our hearts. (I’m still tracking down addresses to thank you all individually, but in case it takes me longer than expected, I wanted you to know right now how much your support means to me.)

Without further ado, I would like to present you with some pictures of said fabulous day! (Please note, these were taken by the very talented Elizabeth Hansen—whom I’m eternally grateful to, because we might not otherwise have pictures—everyone was so busy enjoying themselves! I have borrowed just a few of my favorites from her Facebook page so you can see how awesome everything was.)



What's a Tea Party without a "Fabulous Hat Contest?"



Me and the other States Ladies. (That bulge under my hand is the much anticipated "guest of honor!")



Table display of all the handmade items waiting to be loved. The blessing gown was designed and sewn by my sister.



Such yummy treats...and so elegantly displayed!

 

Handmade prizes for the Hat Contest and Shower Games. There's a rag quilt themed "Kim's Garden" in honor of my mother, a handknit Alpaca lace scarf, and flower pots stuffed with a bouquet of soap and handknit washclothes.



First Place Hat, worn by my cousin Lauren.

Second Place Hat, worn by my friend Susan.

I was overwhelmed by the stack of gifts placed in front of me! As you can see from the picture, we were quite literally showered with adorable outfits and assorted baby essentials!

In the meantime, I’m doing my best to take things one day at a time. Today’s goal (after making it through my work shift of course) is to get one load of laundry and all the dishes done. I really hope to have made visible progress before 10 pm…Wish me luck!

Finding my silver lining

Believe it or not, I started a writing a post for last night; but, upon reflection, I was writing from an unhappy place and chose to not put all that negativity out there once I got home.

It has been a rough couple of days and sleepless nights. It has been reinforced to me lately, that my body is no longer my own--my lower ribs in particular are protesting the gradual invasion from my darling intruder down below. And while I really do like my job, these long shifts are taking more and more of a toll on me the farther along I get. I find myself eagerly counting down the days until I can go on maternity leave and (hopefully) get a few days of rest before facing the sleepless nights of "new mommy-hood."

On a lighter note, I've been making good progress on my "Getting Ready" checklist. I finished knitting her blessing blanket yesterday. I'm so happy with how it turned out! It does need a little blocking on the sides, to stop the edges from curling under, but that's no big deal. And I started working on a little hat that (once again: hopefully) will fit her and that she can wear home from the hospital.

Patrick is nearly done painting the nursery--there's just that few inches near the ceiling that remain to be covered up. I'm really excited to see how it's all coming together--it's gonna be so cute! And once the walls are done, I can finally start arranging the furniture (or, y'know, supervise as Patrick moves it around) and decorating with all the fabric projects I've been working on in the meantime.

Plus, last night, my sweet in-laws sent up a special surprise that totally made my night: a bassinet that's been in their family for over 120 years! The best descriptive word I can think of for it is charming. It's all hand-turned spindles and sturdy, pioneer-esque workmanship. (Plus, it's low enough that I will have absolutely no problem bending over the rails to get the baby in or out!)

It was so fun to listen to Patrick list all the family members who've spent their first nights in this little piece of history. He showed me the small nicks and repairs that furniture that old is bound to accrue, and all the stories behind them. And as I watched him set it up, and the excitement in his face and voice at the prospect of rocking his child to sleep in the same way he was soothed as a baby, my heart melted a little. I feel so glad that this sweet little girl of ours will come into the world surrounded by a family full of love, and memories of generations past--even if she'll be too young to remember it for herself for a while--I believe it's the kind of thing that leaves an impression on the soul.

So I'm doing my best to hang on to these feelings and this excitement, rather than dwell on the aches, pains, inconveniences, and anxieties that seem like they have no end in sight. I'm going to trust that the end to this process will come--probably sooner than I think--and I'll be so in alt over "my prize" that the rest will just...fade away...or at least become less noticeable.

And in the meantime, I'll celebrate the small successes. Like the fact that I actually slept through the night last night! (I don't know if my body was just so worn out from a particularly strenuous evening, that it just couldn't cope with prospect of tossing and turning and getting up to pee; or if the new sleep position I decided to try worked like a magic pill; or if taking a long soak in as hot a bath as I could handle right before going to sleep did the trick; or if it was a combination of all these things--but the results were glorious. I hope I can replicate it again tonight--minus the fact that I forgot to set my alarm and it was only my bladder that rescued me from being crazy-late for work. Today I was only "moderately" late. Ah well, you can't have everything I suppose.)



  

"Practically Perfect"

It was another quiet day at home for me...

I finished piecing together the slipcover. All that remains to be done is hemming the bottom edges and serging the inner seams. (And recovering the seat cushion, of course.) I did attempt to try pinning the hem in place, but quickly discovered that it's not really something I can do without lying on my stomach--an impossibility at this point. So I might kind of "fudge it" until after the baby comes and I can do it properly. 

My back was royally sore after two days of sitting in strange, cramped positions trying to pin and sew this behemoth--it became very unwieldy after all the pieces were pinned together--so I gave myself the afternoon off. 

I put a heating pad on my back while I watched a bit of TV and surfed the web, catching up on everyone's blogs and Facebook posts, etc. After reading my cousin's post about making more time for herself, I was inspired to do the same. I took a long warm shower. (I can't do "hot" anymore. It makes me dizzy.) I moisturized my skin (even the hard to reach bits) and trimmed my hair. And I cut and polished all my nails, including the toes, people! (That took a bit of doing, let me tell you...As short as I am, you wouldn't think my feet could seem so far away...but it's the truth!)

Patrick was home by 5:30--a very rare treat for both of us to be home when it's still light out in the evening--so we went for a long walk along one of the many hiking/jogging trails we recently discovered. It was beautiful evening, if a bit nippy, and we got to enjoy each other's company without the distraction of electronic entertainment for a while. I had packed a light snack for the trip because I knew it would take us a while to get to our destination at my pace. There were a couple of seagulls near where we chose to sit, so we watched them duke it out over my apple core. Patrick called the winner. He must have a knack for picking the winner of a fight after watching Wrestle-mania and stuff as a teen....I felt bad for the loser, so I left a little more apple behind when I was fairly certain the winner wasn't looking. I hope he got it. 

Despite the chilly breeze on the way back, I was telling Patrick how good the idea of a snow cone sounded to me. Unfortunately, it's still too early in the year for snow shacks to be open, but Patrick found the next best thing on the way home: smoothies! Which ended up being our dinner, because I wore myself out on that walk and with playing catch-up on all the laundry waiting for me when we got back...It bites when you run out of underwear and work clothes at the same time...  

Now as I sit and reflect back on the day (while fighting the urge to fall asleep over the keyboard), I have to admit: I feel perfectly content with my life in this moment. It may not be perfect, but it's pretty darn close if you ask me. :-)

A Quiet Weekend

I almost went to sleep without posting again. Luckily, I had the day off and was able to nap this afternoon, so I was awake enough to remember to blog.

Just a quick catch-up:

Friday:
I spent the day with Chrissy. We watched a bit of TV and then went over to Dad's to start clearing out the craft nook by his office. (I ended up finding a lot of forgotten treasures--like sewing patterns, fabric, and sock yarn. It was kind of like going to JoAnn's or Hobby Lobby without actually having to spend money!) When we got back to Chrissy's house, we had an impromptu dinner party as Patrick, Dad, Kaylee, and I all joined Chrissy's family for dinner. Then Scott and Ana called and invited us to go to a movie, so we also had a spur of the moment date night! An excellent end to an excellent day.

Saturday:
I had to go work. Thankfully, despite one very traumatic broken elbow, it wasn't very busy and I was lucky enough to be working with a friend of mine. So we mostly sat in the break room and knitted in between patients. I introduced her to cabling--I'm pretty sure she'll love the results! Because it was still light outside when I got home, Patch and I went for a walk and discovered a new park that we will definitely be visiting again...there are some really beautiful views here in O-Town...And we got to hang out with Scott and Ana when we got back. There's something really nice about just enjoying the company of friends over pizza and a movie rental. Don't you think?

Sunday:
Patrick was going to be working all day, so I went down to hang out at Dad's house so I wouldn't have to be alone all day. I had intended to go to church with him, but I overslept and barely had time to throw on any clothes before we left--let alone begin the painstaking process of trying to find a skirt that still fits. Needless to say, I wasn't properly attired to accompany him, so it wound up being a very mellow day for me. I mostly napped between bathroom and food breaks. Plus, Patch was kind enough to help me clean the kitchen when we got back--something that very much needed doing--I really appreciate when he helps me so willingly. (Love you, sweets!)

That brings us to today. I was without transportation or cell phone today--I accidentally left my phone at Dad's the night before--so after Patch left for work, I felt a little bit trapped. I decided to take my mind off things by focusing on getting baby projects done. (I suppose I could have done laundry or cleaned, but I found I needed something that required more mental focus than those tasks require. I don't know why, but I do feel prone to small anxiety attacks lately. So I was trying to head this one off.)

I finished painting the bottom half of the nursery. (I wasn't about to try standing on a stool to do the top half. That will just have to wait for Patrick.) I knitted a few more pattern repeats on the Blessing Day blanket I've been working on. I made myself lunch and fell asleep during an episode of Chopped. And when I woke up, I found the courage I've been waiting for, to finally tackle sewing together "The Awful Chair" slipcover. I still have two more pieces that need to be pin-fitted and sewn, but all in all, I'm very pleased with my first efforts in this arena. Pictures will be forthcoming.  

"It's sucking my will to live!"

I'm sorry I didn't post last night. I think I will need to make more of an effort to post in the daylight hours for the rest of my pregnancy--and probably for a while after--because I have become part slug.

Ever since Tuesday, it seems that once I get home from work, I'm awake for about a half an hour (just long enough to change clothes and grab a small bite to eat) and then I promptly fall asleep wherever I end up sitting. Sometimes it's the couch, sometimes the bed...and once in the bathtub. Patrick scolded me a bit for the bathtub incident. (I would just like to point out that I didn't drown--in fact, it would be almost impossible for me to drown at this point because I take up so much room that there's barely enough water to cover my legs--and I can't exactly turn over to end up face down now, either.) For my part, I just wish the sleep was more restful than it ends up being. I am very much looking forward to the days when I'm no longer fighting the urge to go to the bathroom at all hours of the night...Speaking of which:

I was particularly disoriented last night as I got up for my third or fourth trip to the bathroom and I was struggling to find the door handle in the dark. I fumbled around, tapping the walls for at least a minute until I found the handle. "Finally!" my brain thought; but noooo. Turns out I walked into the closet and it took me a little while to figure out why I couldn't find the toilet in this strange room filled with Patrick's shoes...

Oh, and speaking of Patrick, that reminds me I was going to tell you how his dinner turned out: It was...Okay. He did everything correctly, (Except remembering to close the lid on the jar of brown sugar before he left. Not to worry though, I had an extra bag on hand to replace the rock hard sugar when I got home.) but we decided it just wasn't our favorite recipe ever. We both prefer the savory flavor of roasted squash, while this method ends up steaming it and shrinking the sausage and herb stuffing. Plus, the brown sugar made it a bit too sweet for our taste. I'd be interested in trying to meld the same ingredients in a different way in the future...minus the sugar of course. Still, I have to give credit where credit is due--he did a good job, followed the instructions, and everything was edible. :-)

I don't think there's really anything else interesting to say. I've got one more twelve hour shift to survive today before I get a day off. Finger crossed that I stay awake for all of it! ;-)

The Ol' Switcheroo

Today has been filled with interesting contradictions.

I made a concerted effort this morning to be ready to leave for work on time—it’s the first time I’ve driven myself in nearly three weeks since we’ve been trying to stretch our gas budget—yet, even though I arrived on time, I had a line of six patients waiting and was hard pressed to keep up for the first few hours. (Having healthy snacks pre-packed definitely helped me make it through!)

However, once I made it through the initial rush, I spent the rest of the day trying to stay awake—hoping against hope that one of the patients in the waiting room would be for me. Only two of them were.

Patrick was being incredibly sweet last night and early this morning as I struggled to sleep. He woke up with me in the wee hours to give me a long massage in an attempt to ease my back pain.  He got up with me again when it was time for me to leave so he could help me put my socks and shoes on, and to move his car out of the driveway where it was blocking mine…

Yet he called me at work around noon sounding pretty put out that he was the one who had to assemble dinner in the crock pot before leaving for the day.  (Usually I would at least cut everything up for him, but I ran out of time this morning; and it seems to be something of a sore point with him that acorn squash are not clearly marked with “cut here” lines… )Oh well, I know cooking isn't really his thing. I’m just glad he did it anyway, despite his inherent distaste of following recipes. (Even when said recipes only have five ingredients and three steps. I'm just saying...it's not like I asked him to make a pie from scratch or anything.)

My body has been lopsided all day. The baby has stayed head down, but this morning her back was on my left side until she suddenly decided to try laying the other way. That was one of the oddest sensations I've had so far... I was in the middle of setting up for an exam, when suddenly I saw/felt my belly heave as she swiveled around to face the other way. I almost lost my balance and fell.  I've spent the afternoon walking around like I just got done with a long horse ride...so not attractive. I just hope she stays put and doesn't make any more big moves for a while. I'm seriously afraid my legs will pop off if she does! 

I hope that once work is done (just ten more minutes to go!) that the rest of the evening will be mellow and without surprise.

P.S. I promise to let you know how dinner goes, though. I'm always curious to know the results when Patrick has been unleashed in the kitchen unsupervised...It either goes well, or badly. There is no in between. :-)

A Fresh Start...Tomorrow

Today was my appointment with my OB. Everything seems to be pretty much on track despite my never-ending head/chest cold. The only hiccup is how fast the baby is growing--which is fine for her, and very uncomfortable for me--if she keeps this rate up, I could be trying to squeeze out a 9-10 lb baby on my first go around. Not exactly what I had in mind...

At my last appointment, the doc told me to really watch my simple sugar/carb intake. Which I actually did. I cut back my portion size of those things to about a third of what I would usually eat...but apparently to no avail, because this little lady inside me is still putting on weight like she's afraid of a famine... So, when I asked what more I could do, she told me to try really upping my fruit and veggie intake and cutting out all junk sugar like cookies and stuff until my next appointment two weeks from now. (I can still have pasta and potatoes and bread occasionally; and only in limited quantities. At least I don't have to cut everything out cold turkey...)

So I'm doing my best to follow doctor's orders. I went to a local produce stand at the end of my street this afternoon and got a whole bunch of vegetables to substitute in my dinner plans where I would normally put rice or pasta; as well as a lot more variety of fruit to take to work as snacks. I'm already a huge protein fan, so that was no problem to incorporate into my "new diet."

I sat down when I got home and wrote down a menu for the week so that I could make sure I would use all the produce up and not let it go to waste. Then I called Patrick and asked him to pick up a few items when he got off work that they didn't carry at the produce stall like meat and yogurt, etc.

I also told him to pick out a few snack items that he can take to work easily in case we don't have enough leftovers to make lunch the next day. He came home with everything I asked for--plus a package of Double Stuf Oreos as a treat for me. *Sigh* It was so sweet of him, plus they are my very favorite snack/craving I've had during the whole of my pregnancy. He looked so crestfallen when I told him that I couldn't have them that my heart almost broke. So I compromised.

I treated myself to a "last supper" after dinner tonight. I had a stack of Oreos and finished off the last can of orange soda we had in the fridge as a sort of farewell to dessert. (I kept telling myself that I had to eat them so they wouldn't be there to tempt me anymore. Yeah, not the best logic ever--as I'm sure many of you would agree--but I'm operating with 4% less brain power at the moment, right? So there. Besides, I just couldn't hurt Patrick's feelings when he was trying so hard to be nice, right?)

Tomorrow will be my official "new leaf." I have a healthy breakfast and snacks all packed and ready to go in the fridge for work tomorrow. Plus dinner will be centered around acorn squash. And I have magnanimously decided to donate my Oreos to my coworkers. (Mostly to spare myself the constant inner battle of trying not to eat them and failing.)  

Everyone's busy but me...

Today I've been watching people rush around and be productive. I haven't been.

Our sacrament meeting in particular was pretty crazy--we had four baby blessings today. So with all the extended families and friends who came to support their loved ones, we found ourselves sitting on the last row of folding chairs halfway to the back of the gym. Plus, we couldn't really hear anything because of all the extra children--especially the "escape artists" who spent most of the meeting running back and forth behind us on the hardwood floor. Watching all those mom's trying to chase their little ones made me kind of tired. I don't think that bodes well for the future when my own offspring becomes mobile...

When we got home from church we started to pick up the front rooms a bit. And when I say we, I mean Patrick, because all I was able to accomplish was unloading the top rack of the dishwasher before I dissolved into a pathetic puddle on the edge of the sofa. Patrick finished picking up the main room and took out the garbage while I pretty much just sat and stared at the floor feeling exhausted.

We came down to Dad's house to finish doing our taxes this afternoon, and it was more of the same. I watched Dad cook and Patrick set the table. I watched them clean up afterward. And then I watched as Patrick went outside to do some more sanding on Dad's front porch. Dad was apparently infected by this whole productivity bug, because he left a few minutes later to go start repairs on some of the rotten boards on the back deck.

I have nothing more strenuous for my future planned that sitting and watching TV for the rest of the evening...It's a lazy Sunday for me! 

Bublé isn't the only one "Feeling Good!"

Some days are just awesome...today was one of those days for me.

Patrick and I were able to go to a live session at the Salt Lake Temple with Cari and Aaron this morning. We almost didn't make it because I can't walk waddle as fast as everyone else, plus they had to wait while I went on a potty break or two...but we were seated in just the nick of time! I had never been inside the Salt Lake Temple before--it is a beautiful and holy building--I feel so blessed to have been able to experience it for myself. And the goodness of the day didn't stop after we left.

We had lunch at the Lion House Pantry and it was delicious. I'm not sure how long we just sat and talked over our food, but I loved every minute of it. It felt a little like those scenes from the movies when people go out for a day on the town and close out whatever restaurant they end up in. The only slightly sad dip in the day came when we were getting ready to drive home after lunch, and I discovered that I have officially entered the "cankle" portion of my pregnancy...I don't wear heels any more if I can avoid it because I'm becoming too unbalanced to walk more than ten feet without embarrassing myself. However, the only flat shoes I have that were nice enough to wear to the temple have straps that cross over my ankle--and, as I quickly discovered, they are perfectly placed to cut off my circulation as we were walking around downtown SLC.

I was gearing up to have a bit of a pity party over my swelling physique in the car; when Patrick surprised me and saved the day (emotionally) by stopping at store so I could pick out a pair of simple black ballet flats that I can wear to church and the like from now on. My hero! (Forget flowers, guys. If you really want to brighten up a girl's day, get her a nice pair of shoes!)

When we got home, we spent a few hours getting some more painting done in the nursery before calling a halt for the day so we could rest our aching backs. (Patrick spent all day yesterday working on sanding down my Dad's decks to get re-stained for the upcoming summer. So today he's been groaning when he walks or stands for long periods of time--like me! Tee hee!) I'm hoping that this next week will see some substantial progress in that area for us.

So, yeah...like I said before: Today has been awesome. Hope you had a good one, too!    

Dazed and (slightly) Depressed

I have been sitting and staring at my computer screen for nearly half an hour trying to think of something to write. I think the fact that so much time has gone by with no resulting action speaks volumes about my mental state right now...I probably look like one of the zombies from Patrick's shows...

I wanted to be cheerful when I woke up today...but somehow I never really woke up. (In fact, nearly twelve hours later I still feel like I just barely rolled out of bed.) I overslept my alarm (something of a small miracle when you think about it) and had only ten minutes to get ready and get to work. I was late. I thought cheeriness might somehow magically manifest on its own as the day took its course, but that didn't happen. I spent the morning feeling drained and depressed for no particular reason. Hormones, I guess...Until this afternoon when I did stumble across something saddening.

One of my patients today was a victim of spousal abuse. It was a long time ago, and she has since found happiness with a good man and raised a family--and just welcomed her thirteenth grandchild to the world--but she is still suffering from another's actions all these years later, and my heart went out to her. Because of the nature of some of the injuries, I was required to ask certain questions, and her answers painted an eloquent picture of inner strength and character as she listed the many reconstructive surgeries and years of therapeutic treatments she has had to undergo in order to stay as mobile as possible. I listened in silence, trying to absorb the emotion evoked by her story, not sure if I could maintain a professional demeanor for the rest of the exam...I've met several patients over the last few years who have survived, or are in the middle of tragic circumstances--it's an inevitable part of what I do--but this is the first time that I have found myself truly at a loss for words.

I don't know for sure, because I was too choked up to talk, but I like to think that the smile she gave me as she left meant that she understood that it was sympathy and not discomfort or distaste that prevented me from speaking much or trying to offer her comfort during our brief time together...

The whole incident made me think about the ups and downs in Life. I feel like I've had so many up days lately--all things considered--maybe I needed more of a mellow, down day emotionally to remind me how to be appreciative for all the good in my life. Because there is a lot of good...I'm a very lucky girl.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

So I'm starting to feel like I'm coming back from the dead. Today I was able to breathe through my nose--which is an awesome new development in my recovery process! And I think that part of why I'm starting to recover is that I've been surrounded by funny people the last couple of days.

Yesterday I was doing an impersonation of a slug on my sister's sofa while Patrick was working a long shift. Near lunch time, Lila brought it to our attention that there was no more mac-n-cheese or bread. Feeling the need to be upright for a bit, I volunteered to go to the store that's just down the street. Lila asked to go along with me, and I figured "why not?" We made quite the fetching pair in our pajamas and bed-head do's...
This is the topic of conversation she chose as we drove down to the store:

Lila: Caite? If your baby is in your belly, how do you feed her?
Me: Well, the baby has a special rope called an umbilical cord that sends her part of the food I eat. So when I eat food, she gets some too.
Lila: (Considers this in silence for a moment.) So, you gave your baby medicine for breakfast today?
Me: (chuckling) Yeah, I guess so.
Lila: Caite, that is NOT a good breakfast for babies. You should get better so she can have a good breakfast.

I agree, Lila, I agree... 

Today, I was able to function enough to go to work. It's been good. I hope that it will wear me out just enough so that I can actually sleep tonight. (Yeah. Right. I don't think I'll sleep ever again...) One of my patients today was an older, mentally handicapped gentleman. I'm not sure what he had exactly, but it seemed kind of like Tourettes Syndrome, just not as much swearing...Oh, he was a riot!...

Before he made it back to me, he had to have some lab work done. I overhead the lab tech explaining to him that he needed to pee into a cup. He responded, "Oh! Oh! Oh! I can't pee in a cup! But I'll s--t on the floor if you want me to!" I got Braxton-Hicks I was laughing so hard!

When I took him back to get changed for his x-rays, he looked at the gown I was handing to him and then turned to his helper and shouted, "Hey! She wants to get me naked! Meow!" Again, I laughed until it started to hurt. While we were in the middle of the exam he was telling me all about his plans for Halloween. (It's his favorite holiday.) At one point, he asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween this year. I told him I wasn't sure yet. He took a good long look at me and then said, "Well, you could go as a fat clown 'cause your belly is round and your nose is already red! Red like Rudolph the Reindeer!" His helper looked at me apologetically but we were both giggling....Ah, honest like a child!

I know I'm stuck with the belly for a few more months, but I sure hope the red nose goes away before then!

Fallen Off the Face of the Earth

Last Friday I got a phone call from the blog police (aka: Chrissy). It was brought to my attention that I have become woefully behind in my posts. So sorry...I don't know what happened...(Well, technically I do. But I doubt I could have prevented it at the time.) I did start a post that was nearly finished before I left work that day. I had fully intended to just pop downstairs when we got home and finish up the last few lines before publishing it--but apparently it wasn't meant to be. Let me catch you up:

(Disclaimer: I haven't edited/altered this bit to fit with the rest of this post. I just left it the way it was before I left for home. Also, please be warned that this post is horrendously long because of how much time I'm trying to make up for...)

Monday
Chrissy and the girls came up to my house intending to help me start stitching the slipcover for the baby's chair. (It's been all pinned and fitted for nearly two weeks, I just can't summon the courage to undo all the pinning...) However, we discovered after about an hour that Lila is very allergic to my cat, so we wandered around local quilting shops until it was time for my OB appointment in the afternoon. (I may have splurged on one or two items for the nursery...but in my defence, I don't know if $15 for multiple items really falls under the "splurge" category so much as the "you'd be stupid not to take advantage of this awesome deal" category. And I have to start getting everything ready for the baby while I can still move around, right? I have nightmares about bringing baby home to a room that's half painted and still stacked with storage boxes.)

Anyway, after the crafting tour, we went to the doctor's office to check up on me and the baby. I'm good. Baby's good. Everything is on track--maybe even accelerated a bit because she is measuring a little over a pound ahead of schedule. The doc told me to watch my pasta/potato/rice intake just in case...I reserve the right to silence on how well I've been able to follow that advice.

Tuesday
I was going to go back down to Chrissy's house for another sewing marathon while Patrick was at work. But about halfway there, Patrick suddenly turned very ashen and said he felt like he might vomit. So he called in sick and we went back home to have a lazy day in front of the TV when we weren't taking turns in the bathroom. I started knitting an adorable little teddy bear that just has to come to the hospital with us...y'know, when the time comes. Luckily, it seems like he just had some kind of 24 hour bug so I made chicken pot pie from scratch for dinner late that night. It was super yummy, but it was so late by the time we finished eating and I had to work in the morning that I neglected to clean up afterwards. *Sigh* So much for my clean kitchen streak...

Wednesday
I had to work a 12 hour shift. While I had a few busy spots, it was mostly slow during the day so I finished knitting the bear I had started the day before. (Now it just needs a cute little face embroidered on it and some fabric stitched inside the ears and paws.) I got a big ego boost as the bear made its way around the nursing staff during After Hours and everyone praised/marveled over it. I'm so excited to see my little one finally playing with it one day...

Thursday
Another 12 hour shift at a different clinic. It was so slow. I started to work a pair of fair isle mitts and got about halfway through the first one before I decided I didn't like the way it was knitting up. I still like the pattern, but I might have to try a different yarn or something...so I ripped it all out and spent the rest of the evening chatting with the nurses and lab techs until we were finally given permission to leave. (We had someone check in one minute before closing and ended up staying an hour late. Ick.)

Today
My last 12 hour stint this week. It was super busy today, which was mostly good because it made the day go faster--but I'm not sure my little passenger appreciated my near-frantic pace because she's been punishing me for it all afternoon by sticking her toes up between my ribs and giving me very sharp pains. We also got a free lunch from Boston's Deli today and it was delicious. I may have totally ignored the whole potatoes/pasta/rice thing from earlier in the week...

Today has also been the day of hilarious patient comments. My very favorite one was:

4 Year Old Girl in Waiting Room to me: "Hey, Lady! Do you know there's a baby in your tummy?!" (This she shouted over the reception counter when she saw me stand up to head back to the exam room. So I semi-shouted back.)
Me: "No Way!"
Her: "You do! And it makes you walk funny! My mom walked funny when she had my baby sister in her tummy!"
(At this point mom rushed up to curtail any further conversation, but gauging from the widespread snickering, I'd say we were a big hit with the waiting room crowd.)

**This is where I originally left off, and where I'll pick up the rest of the story.**

Patrick came to pick me up from work on Friday, as is our norm at the moment. The clinic isn't very far from our home so it's just a 10-15 minute drive depending on traffic...but that night it felt much longer. Just a minute or two into the drive I felt the worst cramp I've ever had in my life. It felt like it wrapped all the way around from my back, across my belly, and down my legs. I could hardly breathe or move. It lasted about 30 seconds and then started to fade. But I didn't really notice the fading of the pain because the baby suddenly started moving around. A lot. And very violently. Then a few minutes later it happened again.

I tried  to stay calm and keep an eye on the clock--just in case. I had about four of these monster cramps about 10 minutes apart over the next 40 minutes. I was in the middle of the third one when we got home and I immediately walked in the door and stripped down to get in the bath. Patrick was right behind me to keep me balanced and to help walk--at this point my legs were oddly tingly and not very steady. He drew the bath while I sat and tried to catch my breath. When I felt ready, I tried to stand up to get in the tub and felt another twinge heralding the onset of another cramp...I didn't mean to, but I must have grabbed the toilet paper holder for support, and I accidentally ripped it out of the wall. There's now a rather largish hole in our bathroom for Patch to fix. Oops.

Anyway, once I was in the water things started to mellow. The cramps were less intense and further apart and the baby settled down. I didn't think that I was having real contractions, but the fact that the pains were so regularly spaced worried me. We debated about calling the doctor or going in to be seen, but decided to wait and see how things went. After all--everything I've been reading says if the pains go away when you change position or get in a bath, etc. then you probably have nothing to worry about. So I made the command decision that I would call in the morning just to check in with my doctor and let her know. My body was totally exhausted after this, and I slept deeply and well that night--helped off to dreamland by a light massage from my husband...

Cue the alarm for the next morning. Patrick had to work a long shift, so I planned to stay at home and take it easy watching General Conference. I called my doctor's office after seeing him out the door and didn't get an answer, so I left a message. I got breakfast and settled in to be spiritually uplifted. And I was--and would have been even more so if it wasn't for this nagging thought at the back of my head that something was "off." Finally, near the end of the morning session, I realized that I hadn't really felt the baby move at all last night or this morning after the cramp marathon. Sure, she's most active at night, but I still usually feel some pretty strong and steady kicks after I eat breakfast. I called and left another message with my doctor's office and went to drink some milk and eat a few crackers then to lay down and do a kick count. I noticed one or two little flutters, but nothing like I was used to.

I started to get worried. And frustrated--because I couldn't seem to get a hold of anybody. Finally I ended up just calling our Urgent Care Nurse Hotline. It was a relief to have someone pick up. I told her what happened last night and what I was feeling this morning, and asked if she knew of another way to get a hold of Mari (my OB). She didn't, but she said she'd find out and call me back in a few minutes.

While I waited--trying to keep the worst of my "first time mom freak out" at bay--I called my sister to see if I could come down for the afternoon. Maybe being on my own was giving me too much freedom to psych myself out, I reasoned. Unfortunately, she had plans to go to a bridal shower. Such is life, but I will admit I had about five minutes of pure hysteria as my brain whirled through the possibilities of something being wrong with the baby and it being my fault because I didn't call last night like I should have, and now I was kind of stranded at home because Patrick had taken the only car with gas in it, and my doctor wasn't answering my calls...and so on. I may have sent several panicky texts to Patrick while I was at my most unstable...poor guy. Luckily I was interrupted by a phone call from the UC nurse.

She said that Mari was apparently out of town and gave me the number to talk to the on-call OB at the hospital. My stomach sank. Hospitals mean serious medical problems and serious co-pays in my mind. Both equally overwhelming prospects at the time. Nevertheless, I was about to call when my phone rang. It was my brother-in-law, Brian. He and the kids were out on a drive heading toward my area and wondered if I'd like to join them. (He was definitely an answer to my prayers!)

I took a deep calming breath and called the hospital. They have a weird operator answering service that I hadn't anticipated. So after outlining my situation, again, the operator said she would pass the info on to the doc and that I should keep my phone by me and wait for a call within the next half hour. Brian and the kids arrived and we drove around town looking at his childhood homes and schools while waiting for the doctor to call. It was a great distraction.

Finally, the doctor did call, and after asking a few more specific questions he told me I should come in to get checked, just to be on the safe side. I sent Patrick a text to let him know what was happening--he replied that he was on his way. Brian was very accommodating and chauffeured me over to the hospital. They all came inside with me while I was checking in, but because the kids weren't immediate family (and too young)  so they couldn't stay. I said goodbye and went to the room alone trying not to think the worst--and yet also afraid to hope for the best, because that would mean I just wracked up a big ol' medical bill for no reason--it was all somewhat much to take in.

Patrick arrived after they had finished asking me their gauntlet of questions, and things became much more bearable with him around. They hooked me up to the monitors first thing, and then I had to pee in a cup, and get swabbed, but luckily no other tests were needed. Everything was fine. They were even able to track down Mari by the end of everything to check what her orders were. (Stay lying down as much as possible over the weekend and call for reinforcements if I find myself facing the same kind of pace at work again.)

 The most likely scenario is that I overdid it a bit on Friday and my round ligaments ended up fighting back. The baby probably didn't move as much afterward because she was either worn out by the experience too--or it kind of rocked her into a deep sleep. I'm choosing to think the former because otherwise I would get really annoyed by the thought that she could let me worry and suffer in silence like that. (Not that she could actually communicate what's up with her at this point, but still...)

So, that brings us almost up to date. I was prepared to have a relaxing weekend, but it didn't work out as I planned. What a shock.

I woke up Sunday morning with a tickle in the back of my throat and by the end of the night--despite drinking copious amounts of fluids and resting--it had turned into a full blown head cold. I was stuffy, aching and miserable all night. I took some medicine under Patrick's careful direction--he's been very good about double checking what's safe for me to take and in what dosage--but I still spent all day yesterday in a congested haze. The one time I was out of bed longer than it took to go to the bathroom, I got totally winded and the floor started to feel like it was tilting. By about 11 pm the congestion started to move out of my sinuses and into my chest. We spent the night on the couch--well Patrick did. I tried to sleep while sitting upright in a cocoon of pillows and blankets he made for me on the floor space between each side of the couch--it offered me the most support for my aching back. I dozed a bit, but I gave up around 4 am and decided to come mess around on the computer and try to catch up on the blog instead of lying there thinking about how much it hurts to breathe.

I sure hope today goes better, or I might not be making it in to work tomorrow...  

Happy Easter

I woke up a little disoriented this morning. Sometime in the middle of night my back started giving me grief so I moved out to the couch. Patrick followed me a short time later. I woke up at 8 am confused as to how we got there, because I clearly remembered falling asleep in our bed...

My best guess is that I was having another one of my "realistic" dreams--the kind where nothing really strange or unusual happens, but it feels like it's actually happening--so it takes me a while to figure out whether I'm actually awake or not. Today I woke up convinced that our church didn't start until 11 am, so I went back to sleep for a few more hours. Yeah, it starts at 9 am...has for a couple months now! At least we didn't miss everything. We still went to the last hour and enjoyed all the musical numbers people had prepared for the holiday.

We then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening visiting both of our families, watching kids go on Egg Hunts and just chatting. It was lovely. After a week that's been fairly stress-filled, I know it was a balm to my soul to take the time to reconnect with those I love and not worry about worldly stuff--even if it's just for one day.

Easter is supposed to herald a renewal of our hope and faith, and I really felt that this year. It came at the perfect time to remind me what's most important...and I'm grateful for it. So, I hope you all had a happy, peaceful Easter weekend, too!

An Original Song

This afternoon we got to spend some one-on-one time with my nieces, Meagan and Madilynn while their mom went to a movie. As we were driving to our house, Meagan was serenading us with a medley of Disney tunes until she stopped for a minute. I thought maybe she was getting drowsy, but then she burst out into song again--this time with an original composition:

"Oh, oh, oh! When I was a baby I came out of my mommy's tummy!
Oh, oh, oh! And then I said, 'Hello!'
She smiled at meeee....
And said I was so beautifulllll....
And we love each other very much!"
(Short Pause)
"The End!"

So cute...I got a little teary. I hope my little girl makes up sweet songs like that one day. :-)

Naughty People

1) Me--for not blogging two days in a row. I have no excuse other than fatigue--both mental and physical. Just so you know, we have been able to resolve the whole identity theft issue with the bank. Things are still going to be a little extra tight for us until next paycheck...But I'm trying to focus more on the unexpected blessing rather than the anxiety that this whole experience brought. (During the myriad phone calls, we discovered that we were able to consolidate our bank loans and lower our monthly expenses by $54. Not too shabby, says I! It'll be official when we go in to sign some papers tomorrow. Yay!)

Also, I've been busy sewing up bedding for little miss' room when she arrives. I finished her crib's dust ruffle, and am halfway done with her matching bumper pads...I still really want to make a light quilt or blanket for the spring/summer. I'm thinking of doing the "1600 Jelly Roll" quilt--but that would require a jelly roll--Hmm. Oh well, I'll put it on my "someday when we have a little extra money" list of projects. :-)

2) My Coworkers--today one of the receptionists (who is also pregnant) offered me a popsicle from her stash. Our air conditioning up in the front of the building hasn't been working properly for nearly a month. It seems to be stuck between 78-82 degrees Fahrenheit. All. The. Time. I have noticed that my temperature runs higher anyway when I'm pregnant, so I've been dying during my long shifts and can't wait to come home and take a cool shower...Anyway, I just want you to understand why the popsicle was such an awesome gesture on her part. And it wasn't just any popsicle. It was a Big Stick.

But it turns out you can't eat a Big Stick in a health care facility when you're seven months along without everyone making naughty comments...I almost had to lock myself in the bathroom because people kept making me laugh. My favorite was the nurse who starting quoting Patch Adams saying, "Let's go check out the maternity ward, because you know those girls put out!"

3) Patrick--the other day he started to attach the knobs to our kitchen drawers (after about a year of waiting for who knows what). I don't know about you, but if I knew I was going to drill a hole into a drawer filled with eating and cooking utensils, I would empty out the drawer first. Patrick is not like me in this respect.

He pushed stuff to the back of the drawer so he'd have more working room and kept on going. When I saw what he was doing I was both excited and anxious--I really want to have drawer pulls, but I had just spent a lot of time getting the upstairs deep cleaned and put together the day before--so I asked him to be sure to vacuum up the little sawdust piles he was leaving in the bottom of the drawers. (At this point I am going to assume that he was so in the zone that he wasn't thinking...because it's the only way I can stop myself from planning to cause him some kind of elaborate physical harm.) He just nodded and then blew on the pile of sawdust, scattering it all over the clean previously clean cutlery.

I believe my next words were, "Are you kidding me?! We eat with those!" He then made some unwise comment about how a little speck of wood wouldn't kill you if you ingested it, and I got riled up and started to accuse him of calling me a bad cook. (Apparently he thinks my meals are so tasteless, it wouldn't matter if sawdust was mixed in, because he wouldn't be able to tell the difference!) Needless to say, the rest of the interaction did not go well. I can't remember everything I said, but I'm sure it's not something to be proud of. Still, I dare anyone to tell me that I was unprovoked...

(Disclaimer: I love my husband very much and I think the world of him. But there are times when I don't understand him. And those are the times I try not to kill him...even when the urge to poison his food with sawdust is very strong...)