Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The #1 Rule on this Ship is...

Today I saw the funniest thing ever! But before I tell you, I will have to explain why it was so hilarious. (Now, for those of you who've already heard this story, I'm sure you'll enjoy laughing at my pain again...)

A while back I was visiting my sister Chrissy for the afternoon; and, as per usual, we ended up downstairs in the sewing room. We were talking, and crafting, and the kids were in the background playing. Well, at one point we moved into the laundry room so Chrissy could switch over a batch a flannel destined to become pajama pants--and we passed Evie, who happened to be playing with her doctor kit. She was talking a mile-a-minute (again, as per usual) and desperately trying to get our attention. Unfortunately for me, we sort of tuned her out and continued our conversation with mumbled "mm-hmm's" and "sure, sweetie's" when she managed to get a word in edgewise. Little did I know how soon I would regret my nonchalant behavior toward this determined toddler...

(I would like to add a disclaimer at this point: That, while I'm still not entirely certain how the following events unfolded, I am sure that my account captures the gist of the exchange.)

Apparently, as I was engrossed in my conversation, Evie informed me that "she was the doctor and I was the patient." To which I said, "mm-hmm."

She then told me, "You should say: Okay, Doctor. Okay, patient?...Okay?...Say: Okay Doctor....Patient?...You say: Okay Doctor..." This broken record routine continued until I gave a suitable response. And then, this is where I get hazy on the details, she must have said something to the effect of, "I'm going to take your temperature, okay?" And, like and idiot, I said, "Mmm-hmm. Okay Doctor."

This next part I remember very vividly, as suddenly I felt a stabbing point of pain between my buttocks. This little three-year-old girl had jammed a plastic toy thermometer between my legs with enough force to leave a dent in my rear! (At this point, I seriously questioned my sister's choice of thermometers, if this is how her toddler learned to take someone's temperature! However, when I checked, she had a regular oral thermometer...and I was just the wounded victim of an infantile approach to medecine. I couldn't sit comfortably for the next two days!)

Well, needless to say, we had a serious talk about appropriate ways to take somebody's temperature and why we shouldn't probe them without warning. Apparently that message stuck because the next time I saw her, we ended up playing spaceship--she, of course, was the captain--and she loudly announced that the number one rule on the ship was: no probing. (I still end up doubled over with laughter whenever she brings it up! It's become our inside joke.)

So, back to today: I was watching the newest episode of Bones, one of my favorite TV shows, and it was set down in Roswell, New Mexico--tying in with the whole alien abduction thing--and the closing lines are:

"No probing! I know how you people like to probe!"

I kid you not when I say that, I--who have never been pregnant, nor had bladder issues--literally wet myself a little as I laughed myself off a chair! Oh, Evie! It made me think of you!

4 comments:

Chrissy said...

Thanks a lot Caite! Now I just wet myself a little with laughing too! I saw that episode last week and laughed hysterically too, thinking of you two and the NO PROBING rule. And just to be absolutely clear, I have NEVER taken her temperature anally. Only in the mouth and armpit, so I honestly have no idea where she learned how to take a temperature that way... I DON'T! Seriously....stop it....

Dinee said...

Chrissy-we prefer to call it a rectal temp. Anally sounds gross and intrusive. Caite-you're hilarious. I declined Evie's offer to play doctor with her last weekend and I think that may have been a smart move on my behalf.

Chrissy said...

Aha! More proof for my side... I don't even know the correct terminology. :)

Sarah Larsen said...

Caite! I'm so glad I ventured upon your blog. I could literally picture your sweet and distinct voice as I read this post. SO FUNNY! I hope your life is treating you well. Come visit me! sarandtrav.blogspot.com