Worn Out and Scarred for Life

I got off work an hour late today...I. Am. Beat. I was also working in a busy clinic that I haven't been to in awhile, so I wasn't as...efficient...in using the space. That is to say, I kept running into the edge of the table with my belly because I kept forgetting that this table isn't as low as the one I'm accustomed to. I hope I didn't bruise the baby or anything...I also had one really weird patient encounter today.

I was taking a rather plain, middle-aged lady back for a routine chest x-ray and I gave her a gown and asked her to remove all her clothing and jewelry from the waist up, and to put the gown on so it opened in the back. She did. I took her from the changing area to the exam room and asked her to stand facing the board on the wall while I went to get a cassette. She did...in a manner of speaking.

Now, it takes me about ten seconds to walk to my protected workstation, grab an imaging plate, and come back; in that time she removed her gown--for no reason--and revealed the fact that she went overboard on my instructions. The only thing protecting me from irreversible mental trauma was the fact that she at least kept her tighty-whiteys on.

I gasped and said, "Aren't you cold?! Why did you remove the gown?"

She calmly glanced at me then said, "Oh I remember the last time I had mammogram. I know how these things go."

At this point, I felt a small surge of pity for whoever her mammo tech was, as I was trying very hard not to stare at the words "Juicy" and "Oh Baby" tattooed across her sagging breasts...Not to mention a collection of tattoos on her hips and low back that had been stretched out till they were no longer readily discernible...

I felt myself staring and quickly said, "This isn't a mammogram, this is just a chest x-ray. You can stay clothed! We just don't want to have necklaces or buttons covering up anything important..."

She just shrugged and said, "Oh well, it's nothing you haven't seen before." And then she pressed her naked body up against the board and while telling me to hurry up because her boobs were cold.

I don't think there are adequate words to describe my level of shock and irritation. Just because I work in the medical field and have seen naked bodies (usually while they are heavily sedated and being prepped for surgery...), does not mean that I want to be thrust into situations where patients feel like being exhibitionists for the heck of it--particularly the ones who look like they've been ridden hard and put away wet. If I don't ask to look at it, don't show me, people!   

However, I was flustered into speechlessness and decided the best thing I could do was to get through the exam as quickly as possible. I usually do touch patients on the shoulders or back, to guide them into proper positioning, but there was no way I was going to do that with her. For one thing, she had ticked me off. For another, I could tell she hadn't showered in a while and she had a cloud of stale cigarette smoke odor surrounding her. I pride myself on taking textbook quality x-rays, but I pretty much just winged this one and was lucky enough to get it on the first try.

Once I was sure the pictures were okay, I hustled her butt out of the room (once she had covered it, so she wouldn't frightened the children in the waiting room) and then drenched everything she had touched in Lysol. (And as soon as I'm done with this post I'm going to take a long, hot shower in an attempt to feel clean again.)

Now, I feel like I am a fairly non-judgmental person...I do sometimes see patients that I want to smack upside the head and tell them how stupid they've been, but I never do. And I don't treat them any less professionally than patients who I get along really well with--however, I do know that I was kind of terse with this lady. I wasn't uncivil. But I wasn't pleasant. And I'm frustrated because I feel like this whole encounter has undermined my confidence in dealing with certain types of patients...I dunno. Is this all just in my head? Or is this something I should work on?

Oh well, I'm too tired to expend the energy thinking about it. Time to shower, then fall into bed.